It’s The Great Pumpkinhead, Charlie Brown!

https://twitter.com/sagenorthcutt

Trick-or-treat! Smell my feet! Gimme something good to cause diarrhea eat!

Halloween is officially in the books and now that social media has taken over our everyday lives, those folks who never used to dress up are now “celebrating” with weird costumes and scantily-clad outfits. So basically it was just another Thursday on the Internet.

But no conversation about Halloween would be complete without the inclusion of trick-or-treating and I can tell you it’s a scary thing for a parent. I let my teenage daughter make the rounds with her “squad” — or whatever friends call each other these days — and upon extraction I discovered one weird house was handing out hot soup for the kids.

Which mine happily consumed (vital signs are still stable as of this writing).

Following that creepy blueprint was former UFC welterweight-turned-ONE Championship attraction Sage Northcutt, who found it prudent to bestow his visiting youth with boxed protein shakes. Not only does he promote his longtime sponsor, he introduces children to the miracle of protein farts.

In other stupid news, The Great Pumpkin has been immortalized in women’s sneakers.