Not-Greasy Woodley Putting Paul To Sleep

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before…

Jake Paul’s team expected to catch Tyron Woodley when he was fat and greasy. Instead, “The Chosen One” was already in fighting shape, ready to save the day when Tommy Fury bailed on his “Problem Child” boxing match.

Which should have never been booked in the first place, according to Woodley.

“I want to let you guys know I’m excited about this fight,” the former UFC champ told his Instagram followers (transcribed by MMA Junkie). “I also want to let you guys know that something told me end of September, beginning of October, I told my boxing coach, ‘My spirit ain’t sitting right. The fight that’s supposed to happen is me and Jake. This Tommy Fury fight doesn’t even make fucking sense. Like, who gives a fuck about that fight? Nobody does.’ This fight was unfinished business. I feel like I won the fight.”

After dropping a split-decision to Paul last summer, Woodley began campaigning for a “Problem Child” rematch, even getting “I Love Jake Paul” tattooed on his hand to satisfy a pre-fight wager they made before the bout.

Despite losing the opportunity to Fury, Woodley’s intuition told him to keep training.

“One thing I know for sure, my spirit has never been fucking wrong,” Woodley continued. “My intuition, my alignment, so when I got the call, it was kind of funny because sometimes people call you and they think you out of shape. They think you fat, and they think you greasy, and they think you not ready. I was ready, and I’m so thankful.”

Expecting Woodley to let his hands go is like expecting Cain Velasquez to compete without getting injured. “The Chosen One,” who turns 40 in April, has just one finish over the last five years across a span of nine fights (eight in MMA, one in boxing).

“I’m fucking in shape, I’m ready to fucking go,” Woodley said. “I sparred 12 rounds the other day. I sparred seven rounds last night around the same time I’m gonna fight, midnight, 1am. I’m fucking excited, and I’m thankful, and I’m blessed. I’m blessed for the opportunity, and I promise you I didn’t even hesitate. That motherfucker can say a lot of shit. If you ask the people, when they asked me, within moments, ‘yes’ was the first thing that came out of my mouth. What the fuck you mean? No doubt, no controversy, no bullshit, no shenanigans. He’s going to fucking sleep, I promise you that.”

We’ll find out on Dec. 18 in Tampa.