Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. But what about 100 times? Fortunately for the MMA community, the tired expression doesn’t go that far.
Typically there isn’t intent to clown; “un-retirements” just happen. A fighter thinks he’s done, then has an epiphany he’s not, and suddenly he’s back.
But in the case of UFC welterweight standout Kevin Holland, he took many of your numbers with his recent recreation of Conor McGregor’s infamous “I have decided to retire young. Thanks for the cheese.” moment.
“Had a good run 30 in a little over a month got paid I’m out,” Holland wrote on social media back on Sept. 22.
Fast forward just a couple of weeks later, and he has a Dec. 3 main event officially booked against Stephen Thompson – signed, sealed, delivered. In the words of Mike Goldberg, “Just like that.”
“I’m really excited about the ‘Wonderboy’ fight, just because I’ve been dealing with Wonder Bread for a while,” Holland said on a recently launched “Real Eyes Recognize” podcast.
“You see, it took a lot for (Wonder Bread) to rip. It won’t take as much for ‘Wonderboy’ to rip. But you get the point here. I’ve got ‘Wonderboy,’ so I’m not f*cking retired anymore. Dec. 3, main event.”
Holland is unofficially nicknamed “Big Mouth” for a reason. The dude knows how to talk – and captivate the attention of fight fans and media largely through humor. His promotion skills have earned him hefty paydays as of late, especially his UFC 279 loss to Khamzat Chimaev.
So why did he “return” from his short-lived “retirement”? Online banter, particularly from past opponent Derek Brunson, was the driving factor, he said with a vintage smirk.
“I’ve seen Derek Brunson talking all that sh*t online, talking about Chimaev putting me straight out of retirement,” Holland said. “Well, pops, no he didn’t. He put me straight into being richer than you, put me straight into being a main event over you. I would like to thank Chimaev, ‘Uncle F*ck Ya.’ That’s Chimaev: ‘Uncle F*ck Ya.’ I would like to thank Derek Brunson, the f*cking worst father in history. (I) f*cking thank both of those guys. Derek Brunson helping carrying my card – my card, not his anymore. Doesn’t that f*cking suck? They give you a bonus for being main event and then they say, ‘Hey, you know that guy you beat a while back? Well, your performance was so f*cking boring we’re giving him your bonus, and we’re going to let him main event you against ‘Wonderboy.’”
“And ‘Wonderboy’ is a f*cking wonderful person to be fighting. He’s not going to hump me. Word to all you kids out there who know how to wrestle, save it for when you have to use it. Because if you f*cking wrestle all the time, some f*cking fun-ass striker who talks all the time might just come and steal the main event over you and take extra money out of your pocket. Thanks, Dad. I appreciate you.”
Here’s my take:
I’ve seen some people roll their eyes about this whole process – a fighter teasing a fake retirement to attract attention. Believe me, I feel you. But that criticism is totally misplaced. Holland has done well for himself financially and propelled himself into massive opportunities through not only his talent but his ability to generate discussion and attract eyeballs. That’s his job, and he’s killing it.
Some fans, media, and fighters fell for it – and will apparently continue to do so until the end of time. Critics should perhaps direct their attention there.
Because at the end of the day, if you were Holland and you could attract that much attention with a simple Instagram story, wouldn’t you do the same?
I think this dance answers that question for you.
Bags on bags for this man @Trailblaze2top
Man knows his worth and #UFC came to play. The deal is now actually official. #ufc279 #callbigmouth pic.twitter.com/p9so7kRFfG— KOreps (@ko_reps) September 10, 2022
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