Popeye The Failure Man

This is Russia. Anything goes.

The Russian bodybuilder known as “Popeye” (because of his freakishly-large biceps) has attempted to use his newfound muscles to kick some ass in the sport of mixed martial arts (MMA), probably because he never saw the “Anchor Arms” episode of Spongebob Squarepants.

Imagine his disappointment when he discovered that injecting his muscles with synthol didn’t make him any stronger. Though I’m not sure strength would have done Popeye, real name Kirill Tereshin, any good against aging actor Oleg Mongol in their hilariously-putrid fight in Abakan, Russia.

“In the army, I was worried that I would have a hard time and lose weight so I decided to try synthol oil,” Tereshin said (via The Sun). ”When I finished military service, I began to transform myself and did everything at home. My mum was very worried about what I was doing, but we are okay now that she knows synthol can be removed.”

Tereshin recently stopped injecting himself with oil after developing medical complications.