Coach Explains How GSP Keeps Aliens From Abducting Him

Photo by Don Arnold/WireImage

Learn how GSP makes sure aliens aren’t stealing his time with this one simple trick.

Georges St-Pierre is the greatest martial artist in the world. He’s also the craziest martial artist too.

That’s right from the mouth of GSP’s head coach, Firas Zahabi, who continues to talk up his star pupil like maybe that retirement isn’t the most permanent thing in the whole world. He had this eyebrow raising exchange with UFC commentator and podcaster extraordinaire Joe Rogan recently.

”Is Georges done? Like … what is he doing?” Rogan asked.

”All the time, man,” Zahabi responded. He’s a machine. Dude, I’m telling you, if Usman or Colby gets injured…. Well, I dunno, I don’t want to speak for Georges. But man, he can kill anybody, this man. He’s the world’s greatest martial artist. I think so. I’m telling you, he’s a monster. He’s an animal. He loves to train. Like Saturday, he trained, he did all his rounds, then he was coaching some blue belts and purple belts and just kinda hanging out with them talking technique. He loves this stuff, man.”

”He’s such a nutcase, Georges. He’s crazy,” Zahabi continued. “He always tells me ‘So many crazy characters in MMA.’ You’re the craziest one of all! ‘Oh, no!’”

”He thinks aliens are stealing his time,” Rogan interjected.

”I share a hotel room with him many times,” Zahabi said. “He puts a foam roller up against the door like this. I move it, I put it away – ‘No, bro, leave it there!’ For what? ‘In case the aliens get us.’ He’ll know the next day because the foam roller was moved.”

”Jesus Christ, doesn’t he think the aliens can come through the walls?” Rogan asked. “How are they taking him out? Taking him through the hallway holding his hand?”

”Because they wipe his memory after,” Zahabi said. “But he’ll know because they don’t know he put the foam roller there. So when they move it, it’s a cue for him to remember.”

While GSP may not be winning any prizes for infallible logic, he could still pull off a thing or two in the cage under the right conditions.

”It has to be a megafight,” Zahabi said. “He doesn’t wanna be champion and fight once every four months. That’s done. THat’s not gonna happen no more. But one megafight. Invite him back for a megafight, see if you can entice him. Because he’s a competitor. He’s still training. Ripped, shredded, fighting. He could do five rounds. He can get in fight shape. He’s there. He’s a very young 38 year old. I would tell you he’s like a 20 year old.”