‘We’ll Take That Whole Team Out At Once’

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And here I thought getting through the weekend without time traveling in Animal Crossing was a pretty lofty goal, but it appears I’ve been outdone by longtime combat sports coach Eric Albarracin, who wants to dethrone City Kickboxing standouts Israel Adesanya and Alexander Volkanovski on the very same night.

That would require “The Last Stylebender” to compete (and lose) against top middleweight contender Paulo Costa at an upcoming UFC pay-per-view (PPV) event, while “The Great” would have to be slotted opposite featherweight smashing machine Chan Sung Jung in the co-main event.

“Paulo Costa vs. (Israel) Adesanya will be the greatest middleweight title fight in history,” Albarracin told BJPenn.com. “These two hate each other, they are at each other’s throats. When we went to UFC 243, Adesanya called him Ricky Martin, and he does look like Ricky Martin but he hits like Mike Tyson. Have the main event be Costa-Adesanya and co-main of Volkanovski-Zombie because we will take that whole team out at once.”

In case you’re rolling your eyes, keep in mind that Albarracin also predicted Henry Cejudo would defeat Demetrious Johnson before moving up to win a second UFC title at bantamweight. Since “Triple C” somehow pulled that off, perhaps Albarracin deserves the benefit of the doubt.

Costa (13-0) is ranked No. 2 behind former champion Robert Whittaker and will almost certainly be next in line for a crack at Adesanya’s title later this year. As for Jung (16-5), he’s resting comfortably at No. 4 behind Max Holloway, Brian Ortega, and Zabit Magomedsharipov, respectively, making a Volkanovski title fight a long shot for 2020.

Then again, stranger things have happened …