Kung Fu Gripe

Jazwares launches collectible action figure line featuring UFC champion fighters Donald Cerrone, Khabib Nurmagomedov, Jon Jones, Conor McGregor, Daniel Cormier, and Max Holloway. | Jazwares

It didn’t work for JAKKS and put Round 5 out of business, but third time’s the charm, amirite?!?

Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) has partnered with Jazwares to bring mixed martial arts (MMA) fans a new line of combat sports action figures, because we all know that fight fans like to play with toys when they’re done trolling the forums in their moms’ basements.

I guess nobody bothered to read this report.

Not to come off as one of those jerks who just shits on everything, because I actually liked those collectible figurines from Round 5 (may it rest in peace). But this lineup from UFC and Jazwares is laughably bad.

“This new line of collectible figures will allow UFC fans, both kids and collectors, to engage and replicate the biggest UFC super-fight showdowns,” said Laura Zebersky, Chief Commercial Officer, Jazwares. “The collectibles celebrate the history and icons of the UFC today, and so we’re glad to bring this to life and offer fans authentic action figures that they can keep forever.”

Yesterday’s press release called it “the most detailed, realistic, and sophisticated representations of UFC athletes,” while including a photo of plastic Max Holloway, a former featherweight champion, shaped like a Hawaiian Brock Lesnar.

Other items on the way include plushies, an Octagon playset, and role-playing items such as the UFC Legacy Championship Belt. Ya’ know, in case you and your buddies want to get drunk and pretend to fight in the backyard for a plastic strap.

Rumors that UFC and Jazwares will also release a bottle of candy-flavored Ostarine, a toy bus with smashable windows, and a Bobo doll shaped like a union representative have yet to be confirmed.

Jazwares