‘The Legend’

Not since Wooley Swamp has there been a legend this mysterious…

Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) recently signed social media sensation “Hasbulla” to a five-year deal, which doesn’t involve any form of combat since he stands a mere 3’4” tall and would probably get “tossed like a newborn,” according to Henry Cejudo.

Instead, the promotion will arbitrarily anoint Hasbulla a “Legend” and sell t-shirts bearing his likeness, though I found it unintentionally hilarious that you can order all three shirts from the “UFC X Hasbulla Collection” in 3XL but not 3XS.

Microman is not impressed.

What’s not hilarious is selling a “UFC Venum Hasbulla Authentic Fight Night Walkout Hoodie” for $175 since it’s not “authentic” unless Hazzy A) actually walks out to fight someone and B) the hoodie comes in super tiny sizes.

Hopefully Hasbulla gets a decent cut of whatever shirts they sell but it should be noted that all the merchandise is “printed to order” which tells me UFC — clearly worried about its bottom line — was too nervous to hold any inventory in case nothing sold.

Still no word yet on that Hasbulla chicken collaboration with Popeye’s.