Penn: Beware Of Chinese Super Lasers!

I just got over my irrational fear of Jewish Space Lasers and now lo and behold China has created a Bond-like super weapon on Hawaii’s Mauna Kea, which the foolish layperson will tell you is the next-generation Thirty Meter Telescope but UFC legend BJ Penn knows is actually a laser is disguise.

That’s why “The Prodigy” will consider a run for Mayor of Hawaii County in 2024.

“So they are trying to build this Thirty Meter Telescope up on the mountain and all kinds of stuff could happen on top of Mauna Kea, like [a] gas leak,” Penn said. “Anything could happen. Eventually it’s all going to hit the water. And they are trying to put this thing up there. China owns the thing, I think it’s a weapon, I think it’s a laser to shoot something, I don’t know.”

Fortunately it doesn’t work unless you bang together a pair of giant chalkboard erasers.

Penn, 44, retired from combat sports after losing seven straight fights but quickly turned his attention to politics. The local voters, however, remained unimpressed and the embattled Hawaiian fell short in the Republican primary last August which means no NFL team and no UFC fights three times per year.