‘You Should Be Drinking Gallons Of Bud Light’

Shhhh! Don’t tell Gary Brecka!

As American as apple pie? Okay boomer.

Put down the Granny Smiths and pick up a Bud Light, the new (and carbonated) way to prove your patriotism. That’s according to UFC CEO Dana White, who recently signed a lucrative deal with Anheuser-Busch after spending several years with Modelo.

It wasn’t selling out, it was standing up for his country, DUMMY.

“If you consider yourself a patriot, you should be drinking gallons of Bud Light,” White told Tucker Carlson. “Gallons! Gallons of Bud Light! You should have Bud Light drums stacked up in your garage and drinking it right out of the keg. They are way more aligned with you than most of these other beer companies, that I guarantee you.”

If you have Bud Light drums stacked in your garage and you are drinking straight from the keg, then you are not a patriot, you are an alcoholic.

“I, who consider myself a patriot — I don’t go crazy over the whole patriot thing, but I consider myself a proud American,” White continued. “I’m happy to be an American, I love this country, and you are way more aligned with Anheuser-Busch than you are with other beer companies, that I guarantee you.”

White has recently been touting the “values” of Anheuser-Busch, highlighting its “Folds of Honor” charity, as well as its commitment to U.S. farmers. I guess that makes White and his UFC dealmakers … Real Men of Genius?