How do I beat up my dad?

It’s Christmas morning, And just like any morning, I wake up in my XXXL Conor Mcgregor fight kit. I wobble downstairs to open up all of my presents, and yell “top of the mornin’ to ya” to my parents as they drink their coffee next to the christmas tree. Problem is, I didn’t get any of the things I asked for. No heavy bag, no Alpha Brain nootropics, not even the gloves Trevor Wittman designed. I ask my father, a 170 pounder, where all of my presents are. He sits me down and says “Son, we think it’s time for you to move out.” I try to explain to them that the UFC is opening a new super heavyweight class, and that I’ll be fighting Justin Tafa as soon as it’s announced. I see a single tear roll down my fathers eye, who looks at me with a dead stare and says “you need to grow up and face reality, or I’m taking away your Xbox.” “You’ll do nothin!” I scream as I wobble back into my octagon shaped room. I’ve watched plenty of UFC and own all of the pride dvd’s, but haven’t trained at a gym before. Any advice on how I should get back at my dad?